My Hero's Journey in Finding the Right Birth Control

    In today’s post, I discuss my journey in finding the “perfect” birth control. I talk about my awful experience with birth control pills, my mixed experience with the Nexplanon implant, and my hopes and dreams for the Depo-Provera shot. Hopefully, this validates anyone taking birth control who has experienced anything from frustration to debilitating side effects.

tw: blood, periods, birth control, needles (if you are squeamish you may want to skip this post as I include a picture of my recovery process from Nexplanon insertion.)

About year ago, I was at my wit’s end with birth control pills. Every time I tried a new pill, I experienced the same awful prolonged PMS symptoms. (For the first two months of trying a pill, I felt fine, normal, and believed that that specific pill was the answer I was desperately looking for. However, every time the two-month mark hit, my body would adapt to the new hormones, and I would experience the same three week-long PMS cycles. I was always either bleeding, raging, or both. I never felt calm. I never felt normal.) The last pill I tried left me nauseous 24/7, hungry 24/7, and severely depressed.

*me circa 2018 complaining about birth control*

Frustrated, I decided to switch to the birth control method I heard my friends and OBGYN’s rave about, the Nexplanon implant. Nexplanon is a low hormone alternative to the pill and can stay in the body for up to three years, hassle free. Many women using Nexplanon stop having their period altogether. And once the implant comes out, users can immediately get pregnant, which is uncommon for most birth control methods. The most common side effect that occurs in users is “unfavorable bleeding,” which only affects a small percentage of Nexplanon users.

So, in September of 2019, I went to Planned Parenthood to have the implant inserted into my arm. Although the insertion process was painless, the numbing injection I received prior to insertion was very painful. I remember not looking forward to having it taken out three years down the line.

*Four Days After Insertion*

As the days went by, the insertion area became more and more bruised. As the weeks went by, the bruise began to fade, leaving the area a yellowy-green.

A month after the insertion, my implant still protruded slightly out of my arm. The skin around it went from a yellowy-green to a flushed pink. I was told by the doctor not to be alarmed. It was not until two months after having it inserted did my skin finally smooth over and the implant settle into place. Most people who received the implant do experience as long of a recovery as I did.

The great thing about having the implant was that I finally felt like my normal self. For the entire time I was on it, I did not experience any PMS symptoms. I also did not bleed at all for the first three months.

(Although I did not bleed for three months, I did not experience any other symptoms of amenorrhea like I had in the past prior to taking birth control, i.e. vaginal dryness, and irritation. It is important to note that vaginal dryness and irritation were the main reasons I initially decided to go on birth control back in 2016.)

Because of the favorable effects I experienced on Nexplanon, I genuinely believed that it was the answer I had been looking for. I felt elated that my search for the right birth control was over.

However, I got my first period on Nexplanon in December of 2019… and it did not end until I got my implant removed in August of 2020. Although this never-ending period was not heavy or painful (it was light spotting), it was incredibly inconvenient. I spent a fortune on female sanitary products and ruined most of my underwear.

Although annoying, I waited until August to take the implant out for several reasons.

1.       COVID-19. I did not want to be that close in proximity to anyone if it was not immediately medically necessary.

2.      Although I was constantly bleeding, I did not experience any PMS symptoms.

3.      Several Nexplanon forums on health websites assured Nexplanon users that they just had to wait a year for unfavorable bleeding to subside.

4.      I was terrified of the process of taking the implant out. (What if it broke? What if it traveled too far and they had to cut me open more? What if I passed out when they injected the numbing agent?)

5.      I thought my search for the perfect birth control was over. What would I switch to now?

I finally had the courage to get the implant taken out when I knew I was going to go back to work. If I was going to be near people anyway, I might as well get my implant out.

When I called Planned Parenthood to discuss my options, I was told that my bleeding would not subside after a year, that if I had been experiencing consistent bleeding for nine months, I would continue to do so in the years that followed. I was advised to have it removed. Unfortunately, I was simply one of the unlucky Nexplanon users that experienced “unfavorable bleeding.” (Who knew that “unfavorable bleeding meant non-stop bleeding for nine months?)

The next step was deciding what birth control I should switch to after removal, taking into consideration my sensitivity to birth controls with estrogen, as well as my unfavorable bleeding with Nexplanon. The doctor suggested I try either Depo-Provera or the copper IUD. Because of my fear of my body rejecting another foreign body, as well as my fear of the IUD insertion process itself, I opted to try the Depo-Provera shot.

Although prolonged use of the shot decreases bone density and increases risk of osteoporosis (if not taking supplements and exercising regularly), I decided that it was worth the risk if it meant I did not have to try yet another pill.

At the implant removal appointment, I was injected with my first Depo shot. Minutes later, a doctor came in and gently explained to me the entire implant removal process from start to finish. As the doctor injected the numbing solution, I began to hyperventilate as I remembered the pain from the last injection and lived the pain of the current injection. The process felt minutes long. The doctor urged me to breathe as tears fell down my cheeks. Soon enough, the doctor removed the needle.

The hard part was over. I could finally breathe.

As the doctor removed the implant, all I could feel was a strange pulling sensation. It felt nothing like it did going in. (I legitimately felt nothing as the implant went in.) After five minutes of a pulling sensation and awkward small talk, it was out.

When I got home, I noticed my bleeding had already stopped. I nearly wept with joy. I had forgotten what it was like not to bleed. The recovery period from getting my implant removed has also gone a lot faster. I stopped bruising after four days.

*me, right after implant removal, relieved*

I have not been on Depo long enough to confirm if it does work for me. So far, I feel normal, however, it has only been three weeks. I have not even gotten my first period on it yet. I still fear that I will experience prolonged bleeding, headaches, weight gain, and other side effects. Only time can tell.

Unfortunately, finding the right birth control is like finding the right medication for various mental illnesses. You may luck out with the first one you try- but a lot of the time- the first, second, or even third medication will not be a perfect fit.

I believe that there is not enough research about birth control and its long-term effects. I also believe birth control is abused in treatment for symptoms like amenorrhea, and painful, heavy periods without finding the underlying cause for said symptoms. (For example, my amenorrhea was treated with birth control without finding out what was causing my amenorrhea. I assume it was due to my undereating and stress, but there is no way to know now.)

In the end, I have a love-hate relationship with birth control. I still prefer life with it than life without it. However, I am confident it has contributed to my anxiety and bouts of depression over the years.

Fingers crossed that this one works! I hope this post was helpful for those who have experienced or are currently experiencing birth control hell.

Take care of yourself. 😊

Let me know what birth control you are on!

With love,

Emily